Astonishing Connection

The following video transcript has been lightly edited

One of the social experiments that I enjoy doing is when I'm out and about making eye contact with people, smiling and saying, Oh, it's great to see you. Now, the thing about this that can be funny is sometimes it stops people in their tracks and they say, do I know you from somewhere? And I say, Oh no, no, I'm just trying to be friendly.

And then they either feel good about that or not. Other times people are just sort of weirded out by the whole thing. and refused to make eye contact with me and just move along. And then sometimes people actually believe that they somehow know me. Like the other day a guy said to me, Hey, do we play pickleball together?

I said, no, we don't play pickleball together because I don't play pickleball. And he goes, are you sure? I was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure. I'm just trying to be friendly. And so he laughed and, and we laughed and on we went. Been reading a book lately by David Brooks on how to see and be seen by others. And one of the things he talks about is that some people are illuminators and some people are diminishers.

Illuminators are the people that when you're with them, you feel seen and heard and you feel somehow more human. Diminishers are people in which it feels like it's all about them or they're not paying attention. And so you leave feeling like somehow you weren't seen, you weren't heard. And so you feel less human.

As I've been reading the book, it has reminded me that Jesus was the ultimate illuminator. Throughout his life, he made people feel seen and heard, and often it was people that felt unseen and unheard. And so as we walk through this series, we're asking ourselves the question, when we look at Jesus life, what does it reveal about God?

What does it tell us about how to be human? And lastly, what are some things, practical things, that we can do to grow in, in order to become illuminators ourselves. And so today we're going to look at the story of Jesus conversation with the Samaritan woman at the well. Now this is a significant conversation because Samaritans and Jews don't get along.

And the reason for that is varied, but the largest reason is that ultimately the Samaritans are a people that have been created because the Assyrians and the Babylonians conquered the area and then they mixed people in and to try to dilute the national identity. And so what happens then is the folks from Israel after Babylonian captivity come back and try to set up this sort of clear like here's what it means to be an Israelite. And in response to that, the Samaritans double down and make it real clear on here's what it means to be a Samaritan.

And so they worship on different mountains, they hold different beliefs, and there's a competition. And this competition, this division, sometimes spilled over into violence. And so the Jews and the Samaritans were enemies. So Jesus shows up at this well, and there's a Samaritan woman there. And again, culturally a rabbi was not supposed to engage in conversation with a woman, never mind a woman from Samaria. And so, Jesus has this extremely long dialogue with her. And in it, he's talking about how in his arrival as the Messiah, that things are going to change. That people are now going to worship in spirit and in truth, is what he says.

And this dialogue is then ended by the disciples showing up, and it says that the disciples are astonished that Jesus is talking to her, but they don't say anything about it. And so I think we can take three things from this story.

First, is that God pays attention to everyone because everyone is worth God's attention. This is true throughout Jesus life. That those who often are ignored and unseen, he sees them and engages them and loves them. And so the lesson there for us is that we are to be people who pay attention to everyone. Now this will push on us a little bit because all of us have people that for whatever reason we don't pay attention to or we don't think they're worth our attention.

And we're reminded here that all people are valued and seen by God, and therefore we are to value all people and see them, regardless of religion, race, gender, identity, just as Jesus sees with this Samaritan woman. And so we're to be radical too. And so my challenge to you as you think about this is like, who's a person that you refuse to see?

Because one of the things that happens is that often when we're willing to engage and have conversation with people that we see as other, what we learn is we have more in common. We have a common humanity that we didn't recognize before. This is true a lot of times in political division. Who Democrats think Republicans are in their imagination and who Republicans think Democrats are in their imagination are vastly different in who they experience themselves to be in conversation.

Men, women, different cultures, different, race, different identities. All these things are true. And so who's a person in your life that you have trouble seeing and how might you give your attention to them? Because they're valuable and they have God's attention because God believes everyone is worth God's attention.

So the second thing we find in this story is that the disciples are astonished. They're astonished that Jesus is talking to this Samaritan woman. This is remarkable to them. And for us, it teaches us that we are to be a people who create astonishing connections. Astonishing connections are things in which the people we connect with feel astonished, like, oh, you see me, oh, you pay attention to me, oh, you know my name, you care about me.

And meanwhile, other people will say, well, I didn't know that you were connected to so and so. That's really great that you have these kind of relationships. When we think about astonishing connections, I think that there's two places we can look. One place is what I would call the simple day to day.

There are all kinds of people that we pass on a regular basis. Maybe it's the parking lot attendant. Maybe it's a grocery store clerk. Maybe it's a coffee barista. Maybe it's someone that you regularly walk by on the street. And all of these people are often unseen in this society because we usually give attention to people who have success, who have wealth, who have beauty, who have power.

But the radical thing about God's kingdom is that attention is given to all because they are human and they have value, not because they have somehow earned it. And so it's astonishing. So maybe there's some people in your life that you regularly see that you could give attention to, and that would be astonishing to them.

On other ways, when we think about our socioeconomic lives, we're naturally disconnected from certain groups of people. And that's why here at Grace we partner with organizations like the Samaritan Center and Young Lives and others that have great ministries to help those who feel unseen. And it gives us a straightforward and easy way to plug in.

So that we can have relationships with people we wouldn't normally have relationships with. And they can be astonished because they feel like they're seen and heard. And others would be astonished because they say, Oh, that's beautiful. That is a sign of love in this world that you are connected with them.

So if we want to be illuminators, like Christ is the illuminator, We want to give our attention to everyone, because everyone is worth attention. That's what we see in this story. Two, that should be, that should create astonishing connections. Connections that surprise us. Because they break the boundaries of the way that we usually operate in this world.

And then, lastly, when we consider, like, well, how do we do that? How do we create astonishing connections? How do we give attention to people in a way that reflects God's love? And Jesus gives us a clue on this. He says the future is one in which people will worship in spirit and in truth. Spirit is the life of a person.

Spirit is God breathed in us. Spirit is the difference you experience when someone passes away. Their physical body is there before you, but who they are somehow is not in them anymore. And so we are to be people who worship in spirit. We're to love God and our neighbor, and to do that it means we see people's spirit.

We see their essence. We see who they are. And secondly, we do that in truth. Now often when we think of truth, we think of black and white. But truth is more than that. In God's kingdom, truth is ultimately love. And so we want to engage and see people with love. Now practically, I think there's three things that can help us do that.

One is to look at people with a sense of tenderness. That we would engage them and connect emotionally. Two, we would see the best of people. And so we would look at them with a sense of generosity. All human beings, you know, they are complicated. There are parts of them that are wonderful and beautiful, and there are times in which they act in such a way that is far from that.

But what we can do, as people who see others, who illuminate, is that when we look at them, we see the best of them.

And lastly, we want to think of people in a holistic way. Too often, we categorize people and we think of them in one way or based on one experience. But what's true is that we don't want that same evaluation on ourselves.

We are more than a single act. We hope that people would experience the greater good of who we are versus the smaller moments in which we don't love as we would hope to love. And so if we want to be the kind of people that help others feel seen, we want to be the kind of people that see others in spirit and in truth.

That when we look at them, we look at them with a sense of emotional tenderness. We look at them with a spirit of generosity, seeing the best of them, and finally we're willing to see them holistically, not categorizing them or pigeonholing them, but understanding their greater story. And as we practice each of those, we too become illuminators.

So my challenge to you is to say which one of these do you need to change your gaze with? Do you need to open yourself to view people with a little bit more emotional tenderness? Could you maybe increase your generosity of vision in that you see them with a sense of the best of them? And are you widening your vision to consider their whole life versus just certain moments?

All of these things will allow you to be an illuminator like Christ was an illuminator. Revealing to us that God gives everyone God's attention because everyone is worth God's attention. Creating astounding, astonishing connections because we're a people that see with spirit and truth. Hey, I hope you have a great week and I hope you continue on in this series with us as we learn and grow how to model and follow after Christ and be illuminators ourselves.

Have a great week. Take care.