Release Your Right to Be Right

Us human beings like to be right. But what does it get us? Unfortunately, our commitment to being right often leads to broken relationships, a closed perspective, and missed opportunities for growth. We may have proved our point or held onto our principle but lost something more valuable as a result. Since none of us are always right, the more we proclaim to be right the more we are ensuring we’re wrong. During this season of Lent, we want to release our right to be right so that we might grow in love for God and others. To help do this, we want to resist arrogance, confess need, and look deeper at the world around us.

Resist Arrogance

The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?” (Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans.) (John 4:9)

The Samaritans and Jews had a long-running disagreement over where the proper place to worship was. Mount Gerizim for the Samaritans and the Temple in Jerusalem for the Jews. They were divided. Furthermore, it would have been against the customs of the day for a Jewish teacher to speak directly with an unknown woman, and yet here Jesus is speaking with a woman from an enemy people. This story is especially impactful when it is considered in contrast to the story of Nicodemus. Nicodemus, a religious leader and one who is supposed to be right, remains closed off to Jesus while the Samaritan woman moves from confused to excited about how she has found the Messiah, even if it is from an enemy people.

This story teaches us that arrogance keeps understanding out of reach. When we arrogantly commit to being right about our knowledge, perspective, or standing, we close ourselves off from discovering truth. To resist this arrogance, we need to acknowledge our shortcomings. Admit when we are wrong. We also need to ask others for their perspective because we recognize ours is never complete.

Confess Need

10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” (John 4:10)

Jesus message is simple, “If you knew your need, you would have asked, and God would give you what you need.” In our world, things like class, race, social standing, wealth, and power often dictate our ability to ask and receive. God’s Kingdom works differently–it comes to those who confess need. The Samaritan woman discovered God because she was willing to confess her need as opposed to holding onto being right like Nicodemus.

How comfortable would others say you are with confessing need? This is a helpful question to ask because we are quick to justify ourselves in self-reflection, but when we consider the perspective of others, we open our eyes to see from a different view.

Look Deeper

13 Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, 14 but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14)

The word for living water Jesus uses in his conversation has two inherent meanings. It can mean fresh water, like a spring, or life-giving water. At first, the Samaritan woman only hears Jesus talking about spring water, which is why she asks how he can give water without a bucket. But as her interaction with Jesus continues, she realizes that Jesus is talking about a different kind of water.

Life is found at a deeper level, and so we need to train ourselves to ask good questions, seek the perspective of others, and take a reflective posture. This can be challenging, especially in our moments of anxiety, fear, and arrogance.

How might we grow in looking for life at a deeper level? I think the acrostic PEACE can be a helpful tool for us. When we need help looking deeper, we can run through this progression:

Pause

Exhale

Ask God for help

Confess our need

Engage humbly

By resisting arrogance, confessing our need, and looking deeper at life we can release our right to be right and discover the life-giving water that God has for us just like the Samaritan woman, as opposed to remaining in the dark like Nicodemus.