You are for the good of the world
Families, teams, organizations, and churches all flourish when united and falter when divided. Unity is a difference-maker but always difficult to maintain. Unfortunately, we trend and are tempted toward division. Paul, one of the early leaders of the church, understood the importance of unity and wrote to the church of Corinth to admonish them to fight the temptation of division. Paul’s challenge is to resist us versus them quarreling, remember the goal is love, and act like a building.
RESIST US VERSUS THEM QUARRELING
For as long as there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not of the flesh, and behaving according to human inclinations? (1 Corinthians 3:3)
The Corinthians are divided over their favorite leaders. Some are proclaiming to be Paul’s people, others favor Apollos. Paul wants the back-and-forth to stop because he and Apollos are on the same team. Paul uses a farming analogy, saying that he (Paul) planted, Apollos watered, but it was God who did the growing. What Paul does here is helpful. Paul equates himself with Apollos and then highlights their unity in God. This is a lesson to all of us on how to resist us versus quarreling, by reminding ourselves of our equality and finding our common ground. I have been thankful for how Good Shepherd has modeled this for us. Though our churches have differences, they have affirmed our equality and unity with them in loving God and neighbor.
REMEMBER THE GOAL IS LOVE
So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. (1 Corinthians 3:7)
God is the one who grows. Grows towards what? The answer to this question is the main theme of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, which is that love is eternal and that restoration of the world is what has been revealed in Jesus’ resurrection.
Keeping the goal of love in mind is hard. The worries, concerns, and anxieties of this life draw our attention to other things. Over the years, I have honed a list of things to remember that I try to review each day to help keep my attention on the goal. I don’t review it every day, but I succeed on a lot of days. My list is below. What would your list look like?
Remember…
Each moment, situation, & challenge is an opportunity to grow in love and encounter Christ
Life is about being, not doing or having
Be joyful, confident, and calm
Be an eternal timekeeper, you have all the time you need.
Focus on being present, kind, & patient
ACT LIKE A BUILDING
For we are God’s servants, working together; you are God’s field, God’s building. (1 Corinthians 3:9)
The call to be a building does not seem to be the most inspiring statement, but Paul has something unique in mind. It’s the mystery and purpose of the church to be the place that God dwells. Not the church building but within the community of the people. Paul is telling the Corinthians that in order to live their identity as God’s dwelling place they must remain united.
One of the challenges I witness in the Organizational coaching and relational counseling I do is that people’s inability to have difficult conversations is a block towards unity. People tend towards one of two strategies. Avoid the difficult conversation and hope it gets better on its own, which it never does. Or, they are aggressive in proving their point which usually destroys the relationship. If we want to foster unity, we have to learn how to have difficult conversations. This acrostic will serve you well and give you steps to walk through in order to allow difficult conversations to build unity instead of destroy it.
CRAVE Difficult Conversations
C - Confirm value and Common ground
R - Reflect don’t declare
A - Ask and Answer
V - Verify a common understanding
E - Express next steps & gratitude
